Setting the Stage: the Columbia Disaster Perhaps the most tragic recent example of the failure to undertake necessary crucial communications is the February 2003 Columbia Space Shuttle disaster. According to public testimony, in the days following what seemed to be an unexceptional lift-off, Rodney Rocha, a chief structural engineer at NASA’s Johnson Space Center, along with several colleagues, determined that the stray foam strike that had occurred seconds after the Columbia’s launch bore further investigation. Other engineers apparently shared his concern, and so they asked that satellite photos be provided that would help them to probe the possibility of foam-induced damage. Now, such photos are very expensive, and in a tight fiscal environment, few people want to be charged with spending money unnecessarily. So when Linda Ham, head of the mission management team, subsequently asked who it was who wanted to view the satellite photos documenting the foam strike, she was met with silence. No one spoke up. And so she put the request aside. When Rodney Rocha later learned that his boss had not requested the satellite photos, he drafted an e-mail stating, “In my humble opinion, this is the wrong answer.” But, in the end, he chose not to send the e-mail. Again, silence. What causes this culture of silence? The authors point to some very obvious explanations. First, few people enjoy raising bad news. And most people view such tasks as confronting a colleague, pointing out flaws, or raising product concerns to the management team with a considerable amount of dread. Second, organizational cultures often support or even actively encourage this silence. For example, the former head of NASA, Daniel Goldin, ruled with such an abrasive and punishing demeanor that, according to many observers, “people were afraid to tell Mr. Goldin things he didn’t want to hear.” In the years prior to Columbia’s tragedy, NASA’s leadership had made deep cuts in critical safety programs. Of course, every organization has to trim its costs at times. But according to the authors of Crucial Confrontations, what keeps such cost-cutting from becoming dangerous is that managers have to know when to push back when they’re asked to make cuts that could have life-threatening consequences. Unfortunately, at NASA, that pushback never occurred. In the author’s view, the death of the seven astronauts aboard the space shuttle Columbia on February 1, 2003, was the inevitable result, not of leaders who actively suppressed potentially embarrassing information, but of leaders who failed to foster a culture in which crucial conversations about potential risks could take place without the threat of reprimand or other serious repercussions. And there are other, more recent, examples. The high-profile accounting disasters that took place at Worldcom, Enron and Tyco were also not only the result of bad leaders acting in isolation. These incidents required hundreds of passive accomplices who noticed irregularities but said nothing. The fact is, say the authors, that corporate ethics are not maintained exclusively by top executives, but also by hundreds of other ordinary employees willing to step up and confront individuals when they first venture into ethically grey areas. By now, it should be very clear that stepping up to crucial conversations and handling them well can have a huge impact on our lives. So how do we do it? What is a Crucial Confrontation? Before we get into the authors’ specific practices and techniques, we need to establish a common understanding of the term “crucial confrontation.” When Grenny and his colleagues use the word “confrontation,” they’re using it in the following way: To confront means to hold someone accountable, face-to-face. Although the term can sound abrasive, that’s not at all what the authors have in mind. In fact, when confrontations are handled correctly, both parties talk openly and honestly. Both are candid and respectful. And as a result problems are resolved and relationships are ultimately strengthened. When to Have a Crucial Confrontation Sometimes, when you’ve carefully considered the potential consequences of triggering a crucial confrontation, it is a better option to remain silent about something that’s bugging you. “For example,” write the authors, “let’s say you’ve had difficulty working with a certain vendor and the process could have been much smoother, but it was just a one-time project and you probably will never see that person again. In that case, it may be better to avoid rehashing a bunch of issues that will never come up again.” But if your relationship is likely to be an ongoing one, say the authors, then that’s clearly a different story. Holding your tongue probably isn’t going to work in that case. If a failed expectation or a broken promise is really bothering you, you’re probably not a good enough actor to hide your true feelings over the long-term. You may try to choke them down, but they’ll bubble up to the surface in unhealthy ways. If you don’t talk it out, you’ll probably act it out. To help diagnose whether you may be clamming up when you should be speaking up, the authors suggest you ask yourself the following four questions:
- Am I acting out my concerns? You may think you’re suffering silently, say the authors, but chances are you’re not. In all likelihood, you’re acting out your concerns in subtle — or even not-so-subtle ways — and that only makes matters worse. Your non-verbal behavior will speak for you unless you take charge of the conversation you need to have.
- Is your conscience nagging you? You may keep telling yourself that things are OK — especially if others around you are similarly witnessing problematic behavior but saying nothing — but you know in your gut that something just isn’t right. Listen to that inner advice, say the authors. It’s a sign that your silence isn’t warranted and it’s time to step up to the plate.
- Are you downplaying the cost of not taking action (i.e. the devil you know), while exaggerating the potential dangers of speaking up? You may be trying too hard to persuade yourself to stay away from a confrontation because you fear it will be painful. When you catch yourself thinking this way, Grenny and his colleagues offer this advice: “Don’t confuse the question of whether the confrontation will be difficult (of course it will be difficult!) with the question of whether you should deal with the issue at hand.”
- Do you feel helpless? Sometimes we feel like nothing we say or do will help. Either someone around you is impossible to talk to, or you’ve already employed all your problem-solving prowess and the situation still isn’t improving. In truth, the problem is less often that others are impossible to deal with, and more just that we aren’t sure how exactly to approach them. The authors have watched countless people deal with some of life’s most difficult problems, and succeed, because they knew what to say and how to say it. According to the authors, if you improve your crucial confrontation skills — even just a little — you’ll choose silence far less often and begin to succeed far more often than you fail.
- First, ensure your safety. If the other person is out of control or close to it, exit the situation.
- Second, dissipate the emotion. Remember: deal with emotions first, content second. Avoid the traditional emotional pitfalls. Don’t get hooked and respond in kind. And most importantly, don’t throw out your feelings of concern for the other person. It’s okay to be shocked, upset or alarmed. Just don’t get angry.
- Third, explore the cause. According to the authors, the best method to both calm a person and get the problem to the point to where it can be solved is to try to get into his or her head. We can do this by openly asking people to share their thoughts and feelings, and actively listening to what they tell you.
- Fourth, take Action. As the other person begins to calm down, jointly solve the problem. If you can’t, find someone who can.
- After teaching Crucial Confrontations skills to employees of a large telecom company, the authors found that an 18 percent increase in the use of the skills corresponded with a 40+ percent improvement in productivity.
- When a group of IT professionals improved their Crucial Confrontations practices, overall quality improved over 30 percent, productivity climbed almost 40 percent, costs plummeted almost 50 percent, while employee satisfaction swelled 20 percent.
- After taking a pre-measure of employee skills in a large company, the authors taught the management team and all employees how to hold Crucial Confrontations. Within four months, people showed a 10 percent improvement in their habits of confronting tough issues. To no one’s surprise, customer and employee satisfaction, productivity, and quality showed similar improvements.
- All relationships, families, teams, and organizations have problems.
- The difference between good organizations and the best is not how many problems they have. The difference is how respectfully and rapidly they get problems solved.
- People’s ability to confront emotionally and politically risky topics — i.e. their willingness and ability to have crucial conversations with each other — is the number one predictor of rapid problem solving.
A great summary of a great book – thank you Abhinav!!