One of the most valuable skills you can ever acquire is the skill of going out and ￼connecting with others.
￼And one of the keys that allows you to do this is showing up with something of value to ￼the person you’re seeking the connection with.
￼Whatever you need, want, or desire, someone out there has it, has access to it, or has the ￼expertise that will show you how to go get it yourself.
Five Steps To Connecting With Another Person
1. Make an authentic connection
One way to get to a meaningful connection is to ask, “What accomplishment are you most proud of achieving?” And then, “Why?”
Two more, “What do you do for fun?” or “What are you most passionate about in life?”
Building a unique connection/creating a great first impression doesn’t have to take forever. And what you learn from these questions is far more valuable than what you learn from just gathering business cards.
2. Find out what is highly important to this person
Knowing what drives a person is a sure way to being able to connect with them on a deeper level.
3. See if you can help them get more of what is important to them
If you look for how you can bring value to the other person 3 times before you ever ask for something from the other person, you will be far more likely to have the person happy to entertain the idea of giving you what you ask for.
A good rule of thumb to follow here is: Give to givers. When you give to generous people, it will tend to come back to you from them.
4. Be a Value Creator
We all have some kind of value we can bring to anyone we’re trying to connect with.
What we need is to be steered in the right direction – we need the right terms entered in the google that is our minds.
And we’ll never get the right terms entered if we don’t ask or if we don’t find out through our own detective work.
5. Stay in touch with them
You want people having good and recent memories of you so make sure you reach out and touch base with people and keep your ears open for something you can help them with.
Reignite The Relationships You Have With Others
- Think about the 25 people you have the most important relationships with in your life.
- Now categorize these relationships according to this person’s attributes – skills, religions, profession, interests, etc.
- Reach out to 5 people a day THAT YOU DON’T NEED SOMETHING FROM NOW. Ask them how they’re doing, let them know you were thinking of them, and ask them what the most important project they’re working on right now, or that is coming up in the next six months is.
- And then think about how either you or someone in your network can help them with that.
One way you can connect with people you’d like to work with and that you respect but don’t know yet is to reach out and say, “I like what you’re doing. I’d like to refer business to you. Can I get 5 minutes of your time to find out who precisely would be the ideal person for me to refer to you? Do the same thing with people in your network.
If you’re sorting your list digitally in your phone or on your computer, you want to tag people according to broad interests/professions like “Real Estate” “Designer” “Artist” etc. so that when you’re looking to bring people together, you can easily see who in your network fits with what you need.
The more people you know or know of or resources you know of, the more you can help people with the problems or challenges they’re having. But you’ve got to steer the conversation in this direction so you know how you can help them. Use these questions.
And all areas of life the other person talks about with you are open game.
If you care more, if you listen more, if you love more, and if you give more, you can connect with anyone.
Something to aspire to is to create 3 memorable moments a day for people in your network.