The No Contact Rule. Everyone around you has spoken about it. You’ve heard it from your friends about the use of it in their lives too perhaps.
No texting, no calls, no social media…that’s the rule right? At least that’s what everyone says. But you don’t really care about that…
What you REALLY want to do is this…
- Stalk the hell out of them on Facebook & Instagram to see who he’s hanging with…
- Text them about how much you miss them and want them back
- Accidentally bumping into him outside their favourite hangout place
I mean not just you…
Millions of people everyday make a genuine effort to know how to make the no rule contact work for them.
But if there’s one thing that over 57 million webpages will never tell you is the hardcore truth beyond this extremely crucial phase of your relationship, then it’s this…
It’s not the same for everybody. And you cannot ignore the 7 stages of grieving that are natural for everyone to go through.
What Is The No Contact Rule?
No face to face…
No Instagram likes…
Your first instinct? “But what if it doesn’t work?”
I’ve on the other hand been studying this subject closely for more than ten years now and have consulted hundreds of heartbroken people on how to effectively make this work for them…(my mentor’s name comes up ahead in the post)
Oh and for the record…nothing good ever comes out of breaking this one rule.
Because I can feel the pain you’re going through right now, I know exactly how tough it is for you to not break it.
So you need to get this straight and believe me when I tell you from my own experience…you’re not even in the right mind to make up the best decision for yourself and your loved one. You both need a little distance because that’s the only way you’ll be coming close to each other. Just using no contact rule will not get you anywhere till you know what’s to be done next.
You want to know why? Watch this video till the end to know the answer.
The Single Biggest Reason Why The No Contact Rule Worked For Me
I have to admit. I had to go through a lot of books and meet a lot of subject experts to get my head right behind how to get my ex back using the no contact rule. Of course, everyone had different things to say.
I took the time to understand in details about the 7 stages of grieving that happen after the breakup. Even though I might have known in my heart for weeks or days that a heartbreak is about to happen, I did not come to terms with it till it actually happened to me.
I couldn’t bear losing her to someone else.
So my research led me to understand deeper the single biggest reason why the no contact rule would have worked for me.
It was this…I realised that my relationship was actually suffering in reality. We would fight constantly. The same person who was so loving and caring had turned her face away from me and decided to never call me again. I, f***ed up! And no matter how much had been her fault, I continued believing that it was all my fault. This thought itself was alone to pummel me to the ground. I felt beaten, upset & extremely lost.
Now, there’s no need to beat yourself over it or to even feel disappointed. All couples that you see are happy right now have to work very hard to be able to sustain it in the long run. Almost all of them start showing signs of certain issues cropping up and disagreements become fairly regular after a year has passed.
Naturally, things will their own sweet time for the wounds to heal. And it’s impossible to just ignore your own body’s automatic response system. So let it heal.
How It Worked For Me – My Step By Step Process Explained
The ideal no contact period is from 10-21 days max. That’s the time when it’s most effective. So for me, I knew that I had to get better at who I am and until I’ve actually made the effort to bring about a positive change in my life, she is not going to come back.
- Grieve thoroughly & Get active: The first few hours are the hardest and they tend to keep getting harder because your brain and heart send mixed responses for your body. The best way to grieve is to indulge yourself in some physical activity or sport everyday. For me, swimming and running everyday for about 45 minutes gave me enough boost of dopamine in the body to keep me going through the stress of the breakup. Picking up an activity was one of the biggest mood enhancers for me in the whole period and I advise you definitely start with at least 30 minutes of running everyday to train your mind to feel that the world has not collapsed around you and that there might be hope. In this stage, you are only trying to find back hope and get some concrete answers to questions like “Why did she leave me? What did I do wrong?”
- Get social: Remember all those times you missed talking to your friends because you were too busy giving your better half the time they deserved? It’s a good time to pick up your phone and get going to see your friends. Don’t be shy in telling them if you’ve broken up. Opening up to them might only make you feel lighter. That doesn’t mean you have to follow everything they say. After all your relationship is best understood by you & your partner. Friends can lend a shoulder, an advice is something you should save for an expert in the field.
- Brad- My expert in the field: Speaking of experts, Brad Browning is a dating & relationship advice guru who has closely helped me and so many of my readers begin our relationships with the same person with a new energy and vibe. This is the step by step program bought my girlfriend and I together. We’ve been enjoying this courtship period for about 4 years now and the mental shift that has happened in my life with the help of this program is something that’s just made me a much better person overall. I am more in control of my relationship and we both end up spending a lot more quality time with each other instead. I have thanked him all the way through.
My One Best Advice For You Right Now
Work on yourself. Understanding your own emotional response to the breakup might make you less miserable.
Or else, you can try this weird but science backed reverse psychology trick if you don’t want to wait for so long.
Other Reference Posts For Reading: I have also done a detailed blog post about the law of attraction and how you can use it in your favour to get your ex back.